My friend she told me such a story
But she didn't know what I knew
I laughed with my friend when she got to the end
And I knew we were laughing at you

She told me that you made some money
And you got yourself framed on the wall
And people come by and they look at your face
And they say it's the fairest of all

And of course you protest that's what you do best
And your modest and shy till the end
You're watching them as they're looking at you
And you know it was money well spent

She told me you'd given up drinking
To be with somebody you knew
And you tried to get into the bible
But it never got into you

But you've still got some loyal desciples
I suppose that I'm one of the few
And I shouldn't have laughed
Because I mean you no harm
But my friend got to me before you

So next time I see you
I'll be pleased to see you
I hope you'll be pleased to see me
I'll visit your pictute
I won't have the nerve to tell them
That they've got you all wrong